Heart of the Mountain
by Courtney Peppernell
Summary: With her heart still in pieces from Lexa's betrayal, Clarke sets out to discover what the new world can give her. What she finds, is more than she had ever bargained for. A journey marred with secrets and filled with hope, join Clarke has she discovers the road that lead her to the new world. Will she choose her family or her lover or can she have both?
1. Chapter 1

**HEART OF THE MOUNTAIN**

 _The New Beginning_

Chapter 1

 _Clarke_

The earth was soft beneath my feet, as I struggled to keep my eyes open. My clothes were ripped, I could feel cuts across my face, blood rolling into the crevices of my neck and pooling in thick red streams. Of all the pain I could feel, none of it compared to the ache in my chest. My heart was splitting at the seams, broken and in pieces littering whatever path I had been following for the last week. How am I supposed to keep going when the skies had opened and rained down every tear I have shed for the people I have lost and the ally who was supposed to be my friend.

I stopped for a moment, leaning against a tree to catch my breath. The trees were wider in this part of the woodlands, and I hoped they would shield me from whatever had been chasing me. I had been travelling for miles, unsure of where I was going, yet knowing I needed to find shelter. I had barely eaten. The only reason I wasn't starving or dying of dehydration is because I had found a river. I'd mostly kept inland to hide, covered under the camouflage of the trees and overgrowth, but I could still hear the sounds of the flowing water and I hoped it would lead me somewhere with more food.

The rain was heavy, lashing out at me as though it was angry at me for walking away from my people. I didn't walk away from them, I chose to take responsibility for my decisions and bear the guilt that I knew they could not carry - there is a difference. At least this is what I have tried to convince myself the moment I left Bellamy standing at the entrance to Camp Jaha. In some ways I knew he had understood this was something I needed to do, but when I had said "May we meet again," even I had not been able to hide the fear in my voice.

I thought of Lexa for a moment, of the rhythm we'd shared. We were like two stars orbiting each other, and yet in reality she was the sun and I was the moon and I don't think there will ever be a time where we are in sync with each other. She had asked me to visit the grounder capital. I knew she wanted to change my perspective on grounders but I wasn't sure how to convince her that she already had. I wanted peace, but Lexa still wanted blood. Peace and blood are two opposites that will never run parallel.

The night it all fell apart, Mount Weather had been eerily still. The power cut out and we were plunged into darkness, with only the light from our fires and the moon to guide us. I remember pressing the button with her, the surge of adrenaline, the feeling of fighting for both our peoples. I should have known we would never be united. I should have known not to trust the grounders. But Lexa was different. She looked at me like she believed in me, like she trusted me. In turn I trusted her, and that trust was the very thing that is now tearing me apart.

The moment I realised she had betrayed me, betrayed our alliance and my people I felt something inside me crack. And as she walked away, I didn't have time to process the anguish falling out of me because I still had work to do. I still had people to save, my people. I was angry, and blinded by rage. I killed Dante without even questioning myself. I remember his words, they ran at me, hands outstretched trying to hold onto whatever reasoning I had left in that moment. But I had no reasoning anymore. _"None of us has a choice here Clarke,"_ he had said, and I had replied that I didn't want any of this. I didn't want to kill him, I didn't want more blood shed, but I didn't have a choice. I remember the look in Dante's eyes when he told me that he did not have a choice either. You never forget the look in someone's eye when they know they are about to die. It was in the split second, before I pulled the trigger, he looked at me with weary eyes and I believed Dante was thanking me.

I had told him that I was one of the good ones, but how can I be good when I have taken so many lives myself? Is this what we do now to survive? We kill?

The afternoon was closing in around me and I knew I needed to find shelter. My legs ached, I was exhausted, barely able to hold myself up, let alone continue walking across rugged terrain. I made my way adjacent to the river bank, crawling up the side of a hill and slipping slightly in the mud. The water had made the ground unsteady and I lost my footing more time than I would have, had I currently been stronger. I needed to find somewhere I could regain my strength. Somewhere safe from reapers and grounders and all the things I had not yet discovered in this new world.

The longer I walked, the more nightfall set in around me and suddenly the rain had subsided. I felt relief wash over me, which was quickly marred by panic at how cold I felt. Sliding down in mud, I crawled my way to a section of ground that had been dug out. There was a rock ledge formed in the ground, creating shelter underneath. I pushed myself into the crevice, as far as I could go, before scooping the leaves around me and moving ferns to cover my body. It was now dark, and the distant sounds of howling made my stomach crawl. If a reaper found me, it would kill me. I have not stopped thinking about the last thing I said to my mother. That I had tried to be the good guy, and she had replied that maybe there were no good guys. How did a world turn all bad, when it had been given a second chance? Is this what the human race has come to? A chance to start again, and we continue with the same ways that destroyed us 97 years ago?

My eyes closed, as I felt my body shutting down. I imagined my father, floating against a velvet sky sprinkled in stars. If only he could tell me what to do.

I awoke to the sunlight washing over me. My clothes had dried, and so too had the blood on my face and body. It felt crisp against my skin, as I pulled myself from the crevice to begin a new day. I could hear birds above the tree canopy, circling and then disappearing. A sudden movement caused me to duck. I peeled over my surroundings looking for the cause of the movement. The figure looked injured, but I was exhausted and a fight with a reaper was not something I could endure right now. I don't know what he was doing on his own, or out here in the sunlight. He should be in the dungeons. Although, now that Mount Weather had been destroyed, I wondered if the reapers had dispersed as well. They had no purpose, no master to serve. I had planned to tell Lexa I would work with my mother to heal them, to put them right again. I'd never had the chance to tell her, and now I am glad I hadn't. Reapers were grounders at heart, and grounders were now my enemies.

I slipped away from him, sliding down the ledge and making my way to the river. I broke out into a light run, my breath failing me every few miles. I had to stop and start for what felt like hours. Eventually I reached a bridge, stretching from the bank I had been running along, to one opposite. The greenery appeared different shades on the other side of the bank, and I wondered if there was more life on the other side. I needed to eat. It wasn't until I noticed movement in the water, that my eyes grew wide. Fish? There were fish in the water. It looked like tuna fish. I felt myself gravitate towards the river. My eyes darted to the bridge, I would have more of a chance if I hung from the bridge and used my hands to catch them. If I waded into the river, I would be caught in the current and swept away. I made my way to bridge, and pulled myself onto the rotting wood. I checked to see it was stable, before crossing to the middle, and lowering my body just above the stream of fish. They were jumping in and out of the water, and I laughed as the water splashed up into my face. The world was upside down as I hung from the bridge, desperately trying to concentrate on catching one or two or three.

Suddenly something gave out, the planks that were holding my body snapped and a loud creak sent me hurtling into the river below me. I felt my head crack against a rock I had not seen underneath the current and a ringing sensation filled my ears. The fish darted around me, leaving my lungs to fill with water as I closed my eyes against the current. The river beat against me in the same way my heart did when Lexa and I made one more step towards solidifying our people together as one.

Was this my punishment? Did I deserve to feel the breath leave my body in the same way it left Dante's? Did I deserve to beg for air, and be given none so I could instead suffocate in the same way pulling the lever had suffocated the mountain men, women and children? All I could feel was ice against my skin, and the rushing sounds of the water disappeared, as silence gripped my mind and body and I felt myself beginning to let go. This wasn't like me to give up; to let go. But I was exhausted, and my heart was heavy, and I wanted nothing more for it to all stop.

My father's face filled everything around me, and I knew I would finally be able to find peace. Only no sooner had I seen him, something had plunged into the water, taken a firm grip to my arm and I was pulled from the darkness.

I gulped air, spluttered, and felt the sensations come back to my body in waves of pain. I had been heaved back onto the bridge, and dragged to the other side. The ache in my chest had returned, when I had finally been able to feel relief from it. Whoever had saved me, had returned all the agony. I was going to kill them.

"Are you crazy?" the voice asked, "What method of hunting do you call that?"

My eyes adjusted to the sunlight again, my rescuer had thrown me to the bank. I knelt on my knees in the mud, my hair was dripping wet, my clothes soaked, my face soaked in blood from where I had collided with the rock.

I felt dizzy.

"You didn't even try to save yourself," he said, "The bridge is broken, you can see that for miles, and it's high tide,"

I pulled myself to my feet, barely able to stand as I looked to the person accusing me of poor hunting skills. He looked my age, and he startled me. He was not a grounder, he was not a reaper, but at the same time he didn't look like a sky person.

"Who are you?" I demanded, coughing, "What's your name?"

"Who am I?" he asked, "This is my land, you don't get to ask questions, who are you?"

"Clarke," I replied.

"Brody," he then said tentatively, watching me as I tried to mop the blood from my face.

"Who sent you?" I asked.

"No one," he said, "The river is where I hunt, only apparently I am the only one that knows what to do,"

I glared at him.

He reached into his pocket but I wasn't prepared to find out what weapon he was planning on killing me with so I hit him. I hit him so hard, he fell to his knees.

"God dammit," he moaned.

I pulled the fishing wire that had dropped from his jacket and I tied his hands together.

"This is how I die," he said, "By some bitch whose life I just saved,"

I stood back from him, as the thinly shape cut I had created above his eyebrow seeped with crimson.

"Why did you save me?"

"Because you were drowning?"

I wasn't convinced. He didn't seem threatening, in fact I felt an odd connection to him. But this in turn actually made me feel weirdly threatened. These were the feelings I was trying to process when I was also probably suffering a concussion.

"You could have left me to die," I said.

"Kid," he laughed, and he looked at me, "You already look dead,"

I felt the ache across my chest at his words. They moved through my veins, and into my bloodstream and it felt like I was bleeding out from the inside. How could one person make me feel dead inside? I am trapped, in an elite group of people who now inhabit this earth. Where I know better than to believe we can one day be in peace, to correct the mistakes of those on earth before us, and yet I secretly hope that one day, love and hope may prevail.

Is this what a dying heart felt like?

"Maybe I am," I whispered, but I don't think Brody heard me.

* * *

 _Lexa_

"Heda?"

"Leave me," I replied, turning from where a member of council had walked into the room, I had asked them to warn me about making an entrance.

"You must eat Commander,"

I did not look at him, "I will eat when I need to,"

The veil to my lair was lifted as he exited without another word. They are afraid of me, any wrong word or action and I will call for an execution. They pray that I can still make rational decisions, they live in fear for Tondc after I made an alliance with The Sky People. I have broken that alliance, and yet I am still trying to regain the trust of The Woods Clan, of my people. Perhaps it is not about trust any more, but rather following an order. What I cannot reveal to them, is that in all my time on earth I will never be able to explain the agony of wanting someone who is not ready to want you.

I closed my hand around the top of my sword, placed neatly inside the belt hugging my armour. I had not removed my battle clothes since the attack. I was still stained with blood, with war paint, with guilt. In the meeting before the battle, we had been in sync. I had allowed Clarke to take leadership, to explain how our plan would be executed. My people listened to her. They had never listened to a Sky person before her. She felt at ease chanting in Trigedasleng, she could even pronounce our battle cries correctly. I wanted her to join us, to join me, and yet when I asked her to come to the capital, she looked at me as though I had asked her to betray her own people.

The Mountain Men had overshadowed my people for far too long. They had harvested many of us, and turned some of into cannibalistic monsters that were doomed to spend the rest of their lives hunting their own families, their own kin. I wanted them to die, to burn and to bleed. Blood must have blood, and yet I chose to spare their blood to save the lives of the prisoners inside. I made a truce with an enemy I hated more than The Sky People. Now, the truth behind why I made such decision must be buried. For if my people found out, they would be eradicated. I have bent for Clarke, in fact I have bent so backwards for the girl with blue eyes I surprised myself. But I will not break for her. I am a solidarity planet and I compartmentalize everything. There are secrets I have stored, memories I refuse to believe are real anymore, and feelings I bury deep inside my heart. This is why I make decisions with my head and not my heart. This is why I was able to make the deal with The Mountain Men, and walk away from Clarke's betrayed and pleading eyes. What the soft heart of a person such as Clarke can never understand, is that I am prepared to make a deal with any enemy if it means the safe return of my people. Even if this destroys the relationship formed with a new ally. Even if this breaks the bond I share with the woman I have fallen so madly in love with. Even if Clarke wore our armour to battle, even if she chanted our song and spoke our language, the truth is that she is not a grounder, she does not belong to The Woods Clan, she is not of my blood. I must protect, and serve first my blood, my kin, my people.

And yet, I am falling apart. Torn by this growing feeling in my chest. A small flicker from the moment I laid eyes on her has grown into a drum that keeps me awake at night.

All those years ago, when I had lost Costia, the first woman I loved, I swore to never fall in love again. Love is a weakness that I cannot afford to have. But Clarke ignited something I cannot explain. She leads with determination and yet she leads with her heart. I have criticised her for this, relentlessly tried to change the way she sees the world, but I envy the way she sees the world. The softness in her touch, the lightness in her step, the power behind her eyes. I have turned cruel against the world, and Clarke still has soft parts of her heart. I do not know how this can be. There were moments in the time we spent together, that I knew Clarke was hiding herself from me. But not because she didn't trust me. She hid herself away, because she did not want me to get too close. I forged onwards, solidified myself as strong and unforgiving and intimidating. But Clarke seemed to see through it, she proved this to me in the nights we would spend alone, discussing the fight against Mount Weather. There was a day, when she looked at me, after I had carried our tradition and executed Gustus for his crimes, and she told me that she knew I had not forgotten what I did to him. I never forget, it is ingrained into my memory in the same way our hearts haunt us of the people we never see coming.

"Heda?"

"Leave me," I said again, however it is not the member of council but rather my chief Indra, "Leave," I repeated and I turned from her.

"You cannot go on like this,"

"I am the commander," I replied, "I will go on how I please,"

"Your people need you, you are the reason the 12 clans united, and without you, the coalition will fail,"

I stared at the table littered with maps, and books from the past. I wish I could do this over.

"Heda," Indra tried, "You made the right decision,"

My eyes snapped to my chief, "And Octavia?"

"She made her choice,"

"Leave," I said, more firmly, my voice deepening against the silence of the cave, "I want to be alone,"

I am thinking of when I last saw Clarke. God, she looked so beautiful, even in battle.

Indra bowed and removed herself from my presence.

I stared out through my window, my people gathering food in the village, the men sharpening weapons, warriors laughing with woman and children. I had served my people, saved my people, and yet the only person I could think about was Clarke Griffin. Of all the things I wish I could tell her, there is nothing I could say to earn her forgiveness. I had betrayed her.

With this act, all I can think about are her eyes, as they stared back at me. Those eyes full of confusion. I could see her heart as it split open in front of me, her lips quivered as she tried not to show her emotions. I am trained not to think about emotion. I have carefully moulded myself to forbid any type of feeling that could mean the end of myself or my people. But since the moment she brought me back to life with a simple kiss, I have thought about Clarke every morning noon and night. I am ashamed with my decision.

Never in all my life, as a grounder, a warrior and now The Commander, have I ever regretted a single decision. But I regret betraying Clarke.

And this is what scares me.

* * *

 _Brody_

Today when the sun rose, just east of the mountain, I felt strange. Like a piece of me had entered this side of the woodlands and was coming home. I know I am not alone on this earth, but for the most part, I am never in the company of another. It is a strange feeling when you don't know who you are, or where you come from. I was abandoned by my father and mother when I was two days old. I was accompanied most of my life by a man named Leo, and for the most part he taught me the boundaries of this new earth, a very different one to the one he had known it to be.

Even so, I have always tried to forge the pieces that make up me, on my own. Leo has been gone for nearly four summers now. There is not a day that I don't miss him. When I was younger I believed him to be my father, and in later years, he became the only friend I have ever known. Aside from the two faced deer that returns only in Spring.

Since the explosion, the acid fog does not roll in from the west of the river, and I am able to hunt more freely. Today I had planned to hunt tuna. The seasons were shifting and the fish were swimming upstream to spawn. If I could catch enough, I wouldn't have to leave my house for next week. I had seen a bear last week. In my studies, Leo had mentioned bears, but I had never thought I would see one. I nearly pissed my pants. I was scared and it was huge. I thought about killing her, until I noticed she had cubs. They were feeding off the tuna as well. I had sat for a while, with my knife and my thoughts, wondering if I could ever be friends with her and her cubs or if they would eat me instead. Out here, it is the wild. Leo and I were on the move for years and years. I grew up on the move. There was never certainty or safety, neither of us knew what the new day would bring. It wasn't until we settled on this side of the woods, that he found this abandoned bunker and we built from it into the surrounding trees. A home built into the trees, extending from a bunker. I had heard whispers on my travels, about who will kill who for survival. Every grounder I have ever met thinks I belong to another tribe, every reaper I have met, I have killed. Everyone else doesn't even know what I am anymore. I don't know what I am any more, I don't think I have never really known.

It had rained heavily last night, the earth was soft, the trees still moist, but the air was clean. I had made my way to the river, wondering if I would see the bear again, and then I had seen her. A girl in the river, the bridge had caved in and she was trapped, only she wasn't fighting the current. She was allowing it to push her under. You can fight a current, swim horizontally, hold onto anything near you but she wasn't doing any of these things. She had her hands above her head, surrendering to the water. I had immediately gone in after her, when I probably should have left her to drown.

The same girl, after I had pulled her from the water, had then demanded to know who I was. Then she had hit me. I felt the impact of her knuckles as it rippled all the way into the depths of my spine. Then, she bound my hands together with the same fishing wire I was going to use to catch my food for the fucking week. While was cursing her from here until the next nuclear blast, she had asked to see my camp. I wanted to tell her that I had a camp full of people who would slaughter her, but I didn't and I'm still not sure why. I didn't want to trust this girl, but there was something about her that I couldn't explain. A weird connection I had never felt with another life form on this earth. She had just punched me, and yet I didn't want her to leave. She must have hit me so hard I didn't know what I was doing any more.

Her name was Clarke, and she looked like she was dying inside.

I rose to my feet, with my hands still tied and walked back from the river. I felt sick, but I knew it was because I was hungry and I had nearly been rendered unconscious.

"I'm not your prisoner," I called over my shoulder, "If this is how you treat people who save your life, I'd hate to see what you do to those who try to kill you,"

"You're my prisoner until I know that you aren't a threat," she responded, "Although, even my friends and allies are threats in this world,"

I pushed past the trees just beyond the river bank, and stepped into the clearing. My "camp" loomed before us.

"This is where you live?" Clarke asked, and her eyes widened as she tried to take in the house built into the trees.

"Yes," I responded, "Can you untie me, this is ridiculous,"

"No," she said, "Where are your people?"

"Dead," I replied.

"Grounders or reapers?"

"Reapers,"

"They must have savaged this place to kill every last woman and child," she responded.

I looked down at the ground for a moment, "No, they just killed the man who raised me,"

Clarke seemed confused, "What do you mean?"

"I mean I don't belong to some camp as you keep referring to," I said.

"Do you have food?" she asked suddenly.

"Just some tins I was saving, for an occasion," I replied, "You interrupted my morning breakfast," and I glared at her.

Clarke noticed the ladder, even though I have spent years trying to make it blend into the trunk of the tree closest to us.

"You should hide this better," she said.

"Thanks for the decorating tips,"

Clarke began to climb.

"What are you doing?" I demanded.

"I'm hungry," she said.

I watched this stranger climb towards my home, and I wondered how long my hands could be tied, before the wire started to cut off my blood circulation. As I climbed, with difficulty, I began to think maybe she had tied them this tight on purpose.

I found Clarke in my kitchen, mulling over the things I had left on the counter.

"How did you build all this, where did you get all these materials?"

"Mount Weather," I replied, half expecting her to think I was making up some stupid place. Instead she immediately drew her knife.

"You're a mountain man?" she cried, "Why are your radiation levels normal," and she came at me with the blade.

"I'm not a mountain man!" I yelled, ducking away from her and angling myself so that the counter was between us.

"Where did you come from?" she asked, "If you don't start telling me the truth, I am going to kill you,"

"You're not a very nice house guest," I said, "You know I've studied fine dining and etiquette and you are breaking all the rules,"

She frowned, "How long have you lived alone?" she asked.

"Long enough," I replied, "Untie me," I added, "I swear Clarke, I am not from Mount Weather, I'm not a grounder and you can see I am not a reaper,"

"That's the problem," she said, "I don't know what you are,"

"I'm on the verge of passing out," I said, "That's what I am, you've tied this too tight and you hit me with such blunt force, I think your hand is stone,"

This made her laugh, "I do throw a good punch,"

To my surprise she learned over the counter, and cut the wire. My hands fell freely and the relief I felt was overwhelming. At the same time, I felt like a magnet, being drawn to answer anything she asked. I should be wary of her; I could see my knives just left of where we were standing in my makeshift kitchen. But I didn't want to reach for them. Clarke was an intruder, but it didn't feel like she was intruding.

"Mount Weather removed anything that was exposed to radiation," I said, to answer her question. "So years ago when their trials for radiation testing on the mountain people were in its peak, they would line objects up outside and the bring them back inside," I stared around at the majority of the things I had salvaged.

"When a chair was exposed to the outside world, and they brought it in for a mountain person to touch, if they would react to the radiation, they would get rid of it,"

"So you stole all their radiation poisoned belongings,"

"Mostly," I responded, "But the mountain is across the dividing range, a long way from here, so the majority of this I have carved from trees or found whilst crossing the country,"

"I guess, that makes sense," she replied.

What does she mean it makes sense, I nearly died on multiple accounts to build this empire. It was hardly empire, there were holes in the roof and I was having serious heating issues, but it was home, it was mine to guard and protect. Although not having an army in this world is dangerous. To counteract this, you need to become invisible. I would have to do something about that ladder.

"Is your hair naturally that colour?"

Clarke glared at me as though that was the strangest thing she had heard in all her time on earth. Although when you think about all the other questions that come first like: where do we get water? Are the reapers here to kill us? Will I be alone forever? This probably did sound like a strange question.

"Yes," she replied, "Both my parents were blonde,"

"Mine were too," I replied, "I never knew them but I have a picture of my mother,"

She moved to the side of the counter, inspecting the gadgets I had been working on last night. Simple things, broken watches, a toaster I found out by the river, probably discarded by the mountain men months ago. Nothing has been the same since the explosion, the regular supply of broken bits and pieces that wash up on the banks of the river have been next to nothing. I have considered raiding the mountain, but I am not sure I would survive the journey alone. I am trying to use the wiring from all these electronics, to create some type of generator. The one I do have goes in and out and if it blows on me, I'll be royally fucked for a while. I just haven't figured out all the parts yet. Maybe humans are like this too. Just a body full of pieces and parts that sometimes go missing. Problem is, what do you do if you never find your missing parts?

"Seems to me like you have no pictures, nomad," Clarke replied, "Which indicates you have always lived alone, have you killed someone before Brody?"

"What do you think?" I replied, moving around her. I knew she was partially scared of me, intimidated even, but she was strong and she'd rather die than show me she was scared to be alone here with me.

"Here," I said, reaching into the trunk that held whatever life I had tried to build for myself. I held out a locket for her, "This was around my neck when I got here,"

"Got here?" she asked.

"Yes, when the ship landed,"

"What do you mean ship?" she replied and her eyes had fixed themselves on me.

"I mean I came from the sky," I responded, "But I was raised on the ground, it's a very difficult way to be, like I don't fit anywhere,"

"You're a sky person?" Clarke exclaimed, her entire facial expression changed, "Were you on The Ark? What station were you situated in? What nation are you from?"

"I don't know," I stammered, "How many stations are there? What the hell is the Ark?"

"How can you NOT know what station you come from?"

I pulled the locket from her reach angrily, "Because I was a fucking baby," I said.

"You're a sky person, you couldn't have possibly come from anywhere other than The Ark!"

"You know what, you can just leave," I said, and I stepped towards her; she back away from me towards the door.

"You could be lying," Clarke said flatly, "I know exactly where I have come from. I know exactly who my people are. It seems strange that you could fall from the sky and not know where you were falling from,"

I back her out of my door and onto my balcony, pointing at the ladder, "You can leave now," I said, "Should have left you in the river,"

"Where are your people?" she asked for what felt like the fifteenth hundredth time.

"I don't have any!" I yelled at her, "Speaking of people, where are yours?"

My words rolled off my tongue and slapped her in the face and I knew I had hit a sore point. The thing was, she didn't turn away or make any indication of leaving.

"Who raised you?" she asked.

"Myself,"

"A baby cannot raise itself,"

"Why haven't you left yet?"

"I need to tell my people about you," she said, "Maybe you will have a chip, maybe you were a tracking device,"

I looked at her incredulously, did she just call me a robot.

"I was 2 days old when I landed here," I said, "A man accompanied me, he raised me until he was attacked by reapers in the night when I was 14 years old. I have been alone ever since."

Clarke looked at me thoughtfully, "Why would your parents send you to earth when they didn't even know if it was liveable until recently?"

"I don't know," I replied, "I don't think about it on the basis I don't really like thinking my parents wanted me dead,"

"Show me your locket," Clarke replied.

I didn't want to show her a damn thing, but I still had this weird connection feeling from her and I didn't know what it was. I wanted her to leave, but I didn't want her to leave and I couldn't figure out which was the one I needed or which was the one I wanted.

She took the locket and ran her hands over the golden casing for a moment. Dirt was embedded within her fingernails, her hands hard and rough, just like mine. She clicked it open, just as a cloud moved across the sun, making everything around us seem still and silent.

"What?" I demanded, watching as her face change, "Why are you looking at my mother as though you've seen a ghost?"

"Because," Clarke whispered, "That's my mother too,"

We looked at each other for what felt a life time, our eyes were the same colour, our hair matted in the same thickness and waves and sandy blonde. Our skin rough, pale, but with freckles sprinkled in places always exposed to the sun. Our noses were the same, we were nearly the same height, the curve of her mouth and the fierceness in her eyes, I was staring at a mirror and I couldn't understand why I had not seen this before.

"I'm going to be sick," we both said at the same time, and we leaned over the side of the balcony and threw up.

* * *

Hey readers,

Feel free to leave feedback and comments! If you have any ideas or would like to see anything specific you can let me know too!

Courtney


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

 _Clarke_

I felt like all the atoms in my body had been individually ripped apart and I was just lying on the ground open and exposed.

"You still look green," Brody said as I sat huddled on his couch. It was dirty, there was a spot that felt damp and mould was growing along the seams. It was any wonder he had survived without having a doctor.

"How old are you?" He asked.

"18," I replied.

"Me too," he said.

I shuddered, "Twins?"

He looked like he was going to be sick again.

"How can this be?" he asked.

"I don't know."

"Is she here?" he suddenly asked, urgently.

Part of me didn't want to tell him.

"Yes," I replied, "But I haven't seen her,"

"What do you mean?"

"I left," I said, and my eyes flickered as they drifted to the floor, it had been easy to leave, to walk away and blame it on the guilt of what I had needed to do. Justifying my actions were hardest; should I have left, are they really better for it, is Bellamy taking care of them like he promised?

"I need to see her," he said.

This was all too much, too soon, the light was fading fast from the sky, I needed to find somewhere for shelter for the night.

"You can't," I replied.

"Why?" He demanded.

"Because I am not going back, and if you show up announcing you are my mother's illegitimate child something bad will happen."

"Illegitimate," he said and he looked hurt, "Could have been you."

"It should have been," I whispered, but he didn't hear me.

If I had come to earth all those years ago, maybe my father would never have been floated, maybe I would have met Lexa as a child, grown to understand why her heart is as cold as ice. I turned even further away from Brody, I didn't want him to see me break down. How could she do this to me, leave me alone and fighting to find something out here?

"I need to go," I said standing up, "I have to leave before the night hits."

"You're not going anywhere," he responded, "Reapers come past these woods sometimes, I have spikes set up and traps in the woods to catch them, you go out there you won't see them, you'll be dead before morning."

I glared at him.

"Stay here," he said, "You can take the couch."

I was probably going to get pneumonia from this couch.

"The man who raised you," I asked, "Did he tell you why they sent you to earth?"

"You mean our parents?"

My heart almost stopped at the sound of those words rolling from his tongue, I almost wish he had not said it.

"Yes,"

"He told me that they had no choice."

He walked away from me and disappeared into the back room.

I felt like being sick again.

* * *

 _Lexa_

It has been 80 days since I have seen Clarke. Every night before I sleep I see her face. She looks at me with tears welled in her eyes and she asks me _why_. She asks why over and over and over again until the pain is too much and I wake up with sweat between the blades of my shoulders and my heart is in such agony it is almost unbearable not to cry out into the night. I have seen her devastated face for 80 nights, and I do not know how I am still alive.

The coalition is at breaking point. The Ice Nation's anger is bubbling and I am all but aware Nia's plan to overthrow me. I need the Arkadians to join as the 13th Clan. I need to hold power and to unite them under my protection. This is the only way I foresee the guarantee of Clarke's safety. But Clarke does not want my protection. Polis is more alive than ever, civilised, an integral network all under my ruling. I have spent many moments on the outside, many moments at War, amongst the tribesman and villages that live on the outskirts, that do not live or dwell within the city centre. I have seen the brutality, I have lived the brutality. I know what it means to be a Commander and yet their belief in my strength is weakening. Why must life be a choice, why did I have to choose between my people and Clarke.

How can I prove to Clarke how much I love her when I acted in the interest of my people before her people. How can I convince her that I can protect both when I betrayed hers?

My room is at the very top of the central tower, in the middle of Polis. I stand on this balcony and I can see as far out as to where the Arkadians ship first landed. I see the villages, the territories, the lake that runs between them all, connecting us and yet we are divided. We pretend to align when each clan has a secret agenda that I can never be sure who to trust.

I trusted Clarke, I trusted that she would not betray me. She did not, it was I who made that mistake.

I just want to see her, if I can see her then I can prove to her that I am sorry. I can prove to her that we can be an alliance again. That her people and my people can do good things, that we can be great as leaders together.

I have to find a way to get Clarke here. She will not come on her own accord.

I have to bring her to me.

* * *

 _Brody_

I was nearly surprised to wake up this morning with my limbs all in tact. I thought Clarke would have punished me for being related to her. I was even more surprised when I found her on my balcony. She had that weird spaced out look on her face like yesterday, maybe this is a Sky thing.

"Morning," I said, "Are you hungry?"

She turned and looked at me, squinting her eyes in the light.

"How have you lived here for so long, what do you survive on?"

I looked over the trailing, scanning from East to West over the traps I lay out each night. "Five rabbits" I responded, and nodded below. "That's breakfast."

She seemed impressed, either that or she was weighing up whether she could figure out a better trap system. Voices from below suddenly sounded through my clearing and I pulled her down behind the railings.

"Don't move," I said softly.

The voices were loud for this time of morning, "We find her, we kill,"

"Who are they?" Clarke asked.

"I don't know," I whispered, "People come through these parts to follow the river, leads for miles and miles, stretches into sectors and other territories. Even leads to Polis,"

I felt her shudder beside me, "How do you know about Polis?"

"Everyone does," I replied. I'd studied grounders for so long I knew every point on the map that would lead me to them and their clans. I was never one of them and as such they are an enemy. I needed to be aware of any territory that may put me in direct contact with them or danger.

The voices were growing louder as they approached the clearing, I didn't want them to see my fucking rabbits I was hungry.

We stayed quiet, watching their shapes as they moved through the trees, they seemed to be passing through and no intention of stopping. Even if they were to stop, they needed to look up into the trees to see my camp, and then fight to get inside.

"Wanheda," I heard one say, "Must die,"

Clarke seemed interested in this.

"Find Clarke," the other replied, "Slay her and bring her head to me."

Now I was interested.

They passed through in moments, their voices carrying into the wind until disappearing.

"Wanheda," I repeated.

"Bounty," Clarke sighed, "Been running for months,"

"And you thought to tell me this when exactly,"

She glared at me, "Never actually, because I don't know you and I never intended to stay this long, I'll be on my way."

"You don't know anything about these woods, the clans that occupy these territories, there's poison berries and ivy and all sorts of shit out there, you wouldn't last,"

"I have for the last few months," she replied defensively. "Now that the Mountain Men are gone there is no more acid rain,"

I scoffed, "You don't know the first thing about what's hidden beneath that mountain, every crevice, every turn, every tunnel all has secrets."

"I have been through that mountain and in that mountain and survived."

"So have I!" I exclaimed and I didn't realise how angry my voice sounded. She pulled back, studying me for a moment. She must be wondering who the hell I even was. I couldn't even tell her because I didn't have the answers anymore.

"You're exhausted, you're injured," I said glancing at the cuts across her hands and grazes along her face, "You need to rest."

"I need to go to Polis," she said, "Can you take me there?"

"That's literally the actual last place you should be going to," he said, "You need to find out who wants your head, which clan it is or if all clans want it,"

"Wanheda," Clarke said, "It means Commander of Death, they think that I have power and they want to kill me to take my power."

"And you want to walk right into central let's kill Wanheda city?" I asked.

"I have someone I need to see, she owes me,"

"Grounders don't owe people anything, they take from people,"

"No, she gave to me and she betrayed me,"

I frowned, "Who,"

"The Commander,"

"Lexa?" I exclaimed, "As in the Commander of the 12 Clans Lexa? As in Heda?"

"Yes."

I was trying to mentally process everything that was happening right now. Yesterday I just wanted to get some damn dinner. This morning I have a twin sister, with a bounty on her head and bad blood with the Commander of the 12 Clans.

"Listen Clarke, I don't know what shit you have gotten yourself into but…"

"Please," she said, "If you take me to Polis, I will take you to my… our… mother,"

I rubbed the back of my neck, "If we survive."

"We will," she replied.

She faded away before I said anything else, faded with that look on her face again. She was just a stranger to me, she had dropped onto my doorstep and I had no idea who she was and where she had come from or where she was headed. And yet despite all this, ever since she had arrived I could feel this throbbing in my chest. As though I could now feel her pain hurt so bad, I would need to take her to Polis in the hopes the pain would disappear.

That is, if we don't disappear first.


End file.
